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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24791710">What They Want. What They Need—The Figuring It Out Job</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/crayonbreakygal/pseuds/crayonbreakygal'>crayonbreakygal</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Leverage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:27:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,161</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24791710</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/crayonbreakygal/pseuds/crayonbreakygal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It has to be about something, something that will mean more, even if they’re gone, they quit, the job does each one of them in.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What They Want. What They Need—The Figuring It Out Job</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm having a difficult time dealing with the show coming back.  The shift from "revenge" to "redemption" (this is per Dean Devlin) is going to be interesting.  The fact that none of them think that they need to be redeemed nor do they think they deserve it will be interesting to me how this plays out.  Something to ponder until we get episodes to watch.  The fact that this show ended up being about found family and breaking up that family for Leverage 2.0 makes me wonder if this can be pulled off.  If it's just a show about heists, then say that.  But that's not what Leverage is about.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>What They Want. What They Need—The Figuring It Out Job</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What they need.</p>
<p>It’s not always about what they need.  It’s not always about what they want.  It has to be about something, something that will mean more, even if they’re gone, they quit, the job does each one of them in. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The drink is what he needs.  Not exactly what he wants.  It slows him down. It shows him the way. It makes getting up each day harder and easier at the same time. It dulls the pain.  It clears his head.  It makes the dreams, good or bad, go away.  It makes him strong. It makes him even weaker.  It’s always there. It never goes away. It never dies. It never cries. It never shows him the door.  It never makes him feel.  It makes him groan with pain in the middle of the night. It’s what he needs to get through each day. It damns him to hell. He deserves that and so much more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s damned to hell. He’ll live with that.  What he’s done. What he wants to do. He didn’t need to do it. He wanted to, in the end.  It made him feel wanted, alive. Standing there, just standing there, watching all the horror around him. Where did they think that would lead?  He wasn’t fit, isn’t fit, for decent company.  That’s why he loses himself in the sauce. Not that kind of sauce. The kind that people will groan over, with pleasure.  It makes him feel alive. It makes him ponder about how much spice to add.  As he concentrates, it clears his head. It makes him strong.  It does make getting up in the morning easier, even if he only did sleep for minutes at a time.  Make the pancakes, stir the sauce, pour the drinks. Live his life. Make them better.  Protect them at all costs.  Hell is awaiting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There is no hell in the screen. He can blank it out. But then he sees his reflection.  Stealing from the rich. Giving to himself. His nana would call that illegal and would whoop his ass something fierce if she only knew.  They deserve to be hacked, to be outed, to be rid of all that wealth. They weren’t, aren’t, taking care of it. It isn’t like he took it from people who actually needed it.  Steal from the rich, make himself richer.  It isn’t like he killed someone. It had just been for fun until it wasn’t. Until his nana couldn’t pay her bills. Until she was sick and couldn’t pay for treatment. Until she couldn’t take care of the smaller ones in her charge.  Live his life.  Make her better. Erase them from the world so that they could do the job. Find the info, make the plan, pull the job, get revenge.  They deserve that and so much more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They got what they deserve and so much more.  Her targets were easy.  They sinned, she sinned more. They deserved all they got. She deserves what she got from deceiving them.  It was a win-win scenario. So what if it was, and still is, dangerous at times. So what if she got tangled up in messes on occasion.  Plan A never works now, and it never worked back then. It wasn’t like she cared if she lived or died. Until she did, and now does. The thrill of the grift had gotten too much.  People died. Little boys died.  Insurance agents suffered.  She knew. She saw. She cried too. She’d never tell him so.  They all deserve to have their millions taken from them. That one little boy did not deserve to fade away, taking his loving father along with him.  She could do nothing, not knowing until it was too late. Always too late. Too late for herself, her life, her love. No time. He didn’t deserve this. But she does. She deserves every single moment that happened to her. Until she doesn’t. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>None of them deserve what happened to them. None of them.  If she could move heaven and hell, she’d run back and gather them all in her arms, shield them from all this nonsense and make sure they each have peace.  No dead children, no dead friends, no dead parents, no dead former lives. None of them deserve the life that they had. Before.  She’d work every day, to her dying breath, to make sure they all knew that they deserve more.  They all made mistakes. Huge mistakes. Terrifying mistakes.  Revenge was sweet.  Redemption is even sweeter. She doesn’t believe in heaven or hell or the concept of what might happen next. What she does believe in is them: as a team, friends, confidants, family, life.  She didn’t understand what it meant at first. The concept of family, found family as it is, was foreign to her.  Helping people out was even more foreign to her.  She stole what she wanted, when she wanted. It wasn’t about need. She didn’t need any of these objects, any of that money, anything at all.  All she needed was a bed, some climbing gear, and some cereal. She didn’t need to redeem herself.  She didn’t need to get revenge for anything.  She didn’t drink herself into a stupor to dull the pain. She didn’t steal millions from hacking someone’s computer, sometimes just for fun, but most of the time because of the millions.  She didn’t punch people in the face for a living, trying to erase all the hurt she had caused.  She didn’t (couldn’t) grift people out of their prized possessions with the snap of her fingers, to be charming, to fill a need to be wanted or to be the best.</p>
<p>Parker watches as Nate slides the drink over to the side, forgotten as he banters with Sophie.  She inhales the smells coming from the kitchen, watching as Eliot stirs and chops and grates, making magic for them to eat.  She smiles at the man sitting beside her, who is so patient and giving. Hardison smiles back with that twinkle in his eyes like he has just performed yet another miracle with the tap of his fingers.</p>
<p>They are hers. This ragtag, going to hell, stealing money, protecting a bunch of humans that sometimes make her angry and sometimes makes her sad, but always has her back and usually makes her smile. Sophie smiles as she turns Parker’s way like she knows exactly what Parker is thinking. Nate smirks a bit, nodding his head, knowing what Sophie is thinking and agreeing with her for once in his life.  Eliot winks at her, making her feel protected and loved and adored, just like Hardison always does, even if sometimes she doesn’t know how to express it back to either one of them.</p>
<p>Family. They are hers. She loves, protects, adores, slaps, groans, overcomes, but in the end, she’ll take them as they are right here and now. </p>
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